Today was awful. Just plain awful. The kids were so frustrating to deal with today. I'm giving them a science test tomorrow, and they just don't care. Josh's class was great. My class will probably fail because they could not stay focused longer than thirty seconds during our review.

It doesn't help that I can't write lesson plans worth a damn, either.

I've gotten to the point where I'm agreeing with my supervisor's criticism of me. I don't know if that means I'm getting better or if I'm just cowering into submission.

In any case, I still feel like I'm on rocky ground. I'm legitimately scared that I won't pass despite all of the improvement I've made. I still don't feel good enough, and I don't know if I ever will.

I had a note in my Batman bucket, and I picked it out and stuffed it into my bag when I left this afternoon. Once I was in the car, I opened it up to find this with this on the back.

These kids drive me bananas. Some of them probably know that. Most of them more than likely don't have the attention spans to notice. But I don't think any of them know how much I love them anyway. They have no idea how much I'm going to miss them.

Also, Josh sucks for playing the Casting Crowns version of "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" on both the ride up and the ride back. As if I'm not emotional enough.

And I'm randomly using my Shayera icon because I love Shayera and don't use her icon enough.  :)

Last night, I was on my way to Lazar's room, and I kept seeing V's drawn on the walls in North Complex.  Then I remembered the day before was November 5th, and it made me giggle.  I didn't think about it after that until I had a V dream that night.  I actually had a V dream, and I feel like such a loser because I've never even read the graphic novel or seen the movie.  *facepalm*

( Remember, remember . . . )

Soooo . . . I met with my supervisor today after school.  I almost threw up walking to his office.

He drew a smiley face on my lesson plan and told me that my description of my summative assessment was "beautiful."

What the hell?

So I'm still being a grump for some reason.  Shane was talking to me online the other night trying to help me with my computer and I was acting like a complete bitch.  There's this one kid in my class that I've decided I really don't like.  And I don't like that I actually don't like one of my students.  :P  I just told off my brother over the phone when he was trying to convince me to go to the band competition our whole family is at in Dillsburg that I didn't know about.  I don't like student teaching.  I don't like it, and I'm really bad at it, and I'm obviously not very good at concealing those two things.  I feel the need to repeat this post.  :P

*sigh*

Let me try to leave off on a much lighter note and wish you all a delightful Halloween. :D

I took this picture in Chad's room last night and thought it looked pretty cool.  I hope it fills all of your hearts with Halloween splendidness.  :)

"Abe53" is a second grader from the school I'm doing my student teaching at.  Vote for his artwork for Artsonia's Artist of the Week contest!  :)  You can vote once a day until the end of the week.

Don't know if I deserve one, but I need one.  :P

( So here's a random meme I dug up . . . )

Sorry I've been a grouch this week, everybody.

( FREE HUGS! )

Gaaah.  I want my voice back.

My little godsister (ha . . . I call her "little" even though she's only five years younger than me and is now a junior in high school . . . *feels old*) posted this on her facebook.  Needless to say, I squeeeeeeed when I saw it.  She said the coolest thing was when the lights were turned out, it shone the batsignal on the wall!!! :D

So be happy.  :D

Instead I'm going to post about how amused I was when this guy's phone went off during our meeting and his ring tone was the Dr. Who theme.  I was also amused by the excited "OMGYOUKNOWTHATSHOWTOO?" face he gave me when I asked him if what I just heard was indeed the Dr. Who theme.

*giggles*  I need to sleep.

I'm going to tell you how I completely BOMBED today . . .

As if it wasn't bad enough that the first lesson I teach occurred on the day my supervisor showed up.  But I also had to FORGET MY LESSON PLANS on my table this morning.  Who the fuck does that?  I thought my lesson went terribly, mostly because I had nothing to reference and was completely going by memory, but my co-op said it went very well.  I don't know why, but okay . . .  And my supervisor sent me his comments through email, and I think the weirdest one was "I saw you smile a couple times! :)"  I was really confused, and then I realized, Oh, I don't think I'd ever smiled in his Instructional Design class at all last year.  Except that time Josh discovered he could make a really cool sproingy noise with the spring under our table, and then everyone else in the class tried it.  Ha!  :D

I'm just so disgusted with how immature and unprofessional I can be.  The thing that I really hate to think about is the fact that this is the real thing, and my failure is really going to screw up the kids.  :(

I wonder if my supervisor knows I don't really want to be a teacher.  I wonder if he knows I've only made it to this point because of sheer luck.

I wonder why people tell me I'm doing a great job when I'm not.  :P

</emo>

I've never had off for Columbus Day before, not even when I was in grade school.  But the school district I'm teaching in had off, so I had my first Columbus Day off ever!  Woohoo!  And it was an adventure-and-a-half.

( Here's where it all began . . . )

I'm happy.  And you know why?  Because I finished my classroom management paper today.  All 9 single spaced pages of it.  OWNED!  *kicks something over out of sheer excitement*

After that nonsense was over with, I went to the Union for dinner with Laz, and we saw Moon playing on campus.  I was a little let down because I thought it would be more psychological once I heard the premise, but overall it was pretty neat.  I still wish they wouldn't play so many obscure independent films here instead of . . . oh, gee, I don't know, FUCKING PUBLIC ENEMIES which I was never able to see this summer.  *pouts*  Then Laz went to visit a friend he hasn't seen in a while, and Jen and Chad are more than likely either not back from the wedding they went to today (*eyeroll*) or too busy being all coupley to remember that I exist (*double eyeroll*).  It's so lame.  I've been demoted from third wheel to . . . I don't know, the bicycle horn or something.  :P

So it's just me by my lonesome for now.  I think a date with Starcrossed is in order.  *twirls*

I'm not going to debrief the last few days because I'm too exhausted and it's Friday and I don't want to think about it.

But today I had to laugh because my class is learning about environmental protection laws and the like, and today a group of them were reading a play about Tricia Trash and Wally Waste.  Guess who I kept thinking of?  Bwhahaha!

Can I quit now?

. . . tomorrow.  :(

I don't know if the time counts when Laz and I watched The Dark Knight twice in a row when it played at our campus theater and then watched it twice in a row again the following night.  Because it should.  Because it was epic.

There's also that time the year before when Chad and I started from the beginning and watched every single episode of Justice League from start to finish, but that was over the course of about a month or so.

Can you tell I don't want to write this paper for Barnes' class?  CAN YOU TELL????

The familia came up today, and they brought me a CAR.  Dun dun dunnnnn . . .  Dad got a new car for himself last weekish, and he seemed to think the Jeep was okay for me to drive after he got it repaired.  He got it all checked out and stuff, so I get my lunchboxmobile back!  :D  Complete with "My kid's smarter than your kid" bumper stickers!  xD Now I don't have to feel guilty that Dad gets the old crappy car.  That and I don't have to get acquainted with a new car.  It's so weird . . . having a car.  Particularly one that I don't have to share with anyone else (my parents said Glenn's not allowed to drive it, even though he's on campus with me.  Bwahahaha!).  I've only had my parking permit tacked onto my bulletin board for over a month, and I never thought about how weird it would be.  It's staring to freak me out.

So today I made a Batman-themed powerpoint presentation for my teaching science class.  Are you surprised?  I actually haven't done anything Batman-related for school this semester.  So I had to.  I HAD to.

Here you'll see Batman and Alfred practicing the LFS strategy of collaborative pairs.  *twirls*



I had a mini panic moment just a little bit ago when I realized I start full-time student teaching in one week.  ONE WEEK.  And I still don't know what the hell I'm doing.  Everyone else is just so ready and so pumped, and I just want to crawl into a cave somewhere and hope nobody realizes I'm missing.  I'm worried I'll crash and burn within the first week.  That would really be a shame, too, considering my first week is only three days long.

I also just did a multiple intelligence survey thingum for class.  I should tell my mom that force-feeding me music since birth paid off, because my musical intelligence was the highest.  Hahaha!